Saturday, May 21, 2016

Yeah, I'm still around...

Trying my hand at streaming on Twitch again, it's OKAY I guess, but I think I'll probably end up back on YouTube, either way, I will be streaming and uploading on a regular basis because it is addicting!
As usual, my life is full of bad scheduling and poor follow through as far as anything that is purely for me goes, but it is hard to not feel like I'm being selfish when my kids want my time. I am trying some new time management techniques and slowly whittling away at this mound of self-doubt that makes me so afraid of success, so it can only get better from here!
Well, here's a couple of photos because... well... yeah...
Hope to remember to post here again soon! If you don't hear from me pm me on Twitter @disruptivegirl and tell me to get my head outta my butt!
This is the beginning of a project I will eventually finish on my Twitch stream.

Ra gets this look and keeps it until I go to bed, he truly dislikes me keeping late nights.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

A month of Sundays....Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day

Okay, I don't even remember the last time I posted an actual blog here, so I guess today is as good a day as any.
I've been up to a whole lot of nothing the past year, but I feel like maybe this past year has also been one of my most successful at the same time. Does it make sense to me? No, but that's the beauty of it I suppose.
My children have all been doing wonderful, watching my two oldest secure their footing in adulthood has been just amazing, they both have things together better than I did at their age.
My three younger boys have been flourishing as well, doing so much better now that they are fully homeschooled. My oldest one at home of course is at "that age" all teenagers hit where they know waaay more than anyone and everyone, so every other opinion than their own is just "lame", but he stays out of trouble and we get along well, I might even venture to say we get along despite the teen angst so it's all good.
The cats have been up to their usual "cat things", Ra is a part-time human, Mal is officially the house trash-panda.
 Tycho spends most of his time practicing his Wilford Brimley impersonations and in the nature of a true feral cat, Batman stops by to grab bites of kibble on a regular basis, get a quick once over to make sure he's not sustained any kind of injuries, then he's off to roam the wild blue yonder.

As for me, well, I have been dedicating as much time as I can to learning. After being denied financial aid due to a pace issue stemming from failing grades I received nine years ago due to my life taking a sharp turn for the worse in the form of a divorce I have been forced to find other means for furthering my education.
There are other schools I could attend, but at this point it is just as easy for me to seek free or affordable learning online in the comfort of my own home. Many of the major vendors for the software I use the most offer free online learning to help better utilize their software, as well as great communities to help keep me in some kind of social loop since I am such a hermit, so it's not too bad. I get the info without the interference of the ego of an instructor, and without having to leave my comfy chair.
Okay, that last statement leads me to another  subject... my weight... ugh, I despise even broaching this topic online, but I am comfortable with myself, fat or skinny, so it doesn't really matter I suppose.
I have gained a few pounds, actually I have reached 300lbs. since I have been back on my medication, I would rather be fat and happy than thin and depressed/ suicidal, so I guess it is a worthy trade off, the cheeseburgers will kill me slower than the depression, and food is delicious.
I am working on getting a gym membership, I have a fitness tracker, keep a food diary, and all that fun stuff. It's finally time, now that the weather is a bit more suited to spending time at the park with the kids and just generally being outside to get back into the habit of being more physically active.
The benefit to you, dear reader, is that I will be posting many more blogs, vlogs, and sharing many more photos online as I push myself to venture out more.
My kids have it easy, they have plenty of family and friends that help keep them active, but it is so easy for me to find an excuse to plant my buns somewhere and not interact, so this is my ultimate goal, to jump out of my comfort sone and start living life again.
I had to start by getting my depression under control, kinda ironic, the once thing that keeps me depressed is not leaving my house, and the biggest side effect of depression for me is a lack of drive to leave the house. I got this though, I have taken these steps before, but always found some reason to give it up, but now it truly is a matter of life and death. I joke around about cheeseburgers, but my biggest goal is to focus on quality, not quantity of life. Everything is all about balance, learning to even it all out so I can eat good tasting food, but still be around to interact with my grandchildren.
Life is work, none if it comes too easy, but that's what makes it worth it, the struggle is half the fun and the endgame is death, so at this point it is just a matter of making a conscious effort to enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the destination.
Well, I think I have rambled along enough for today, but my plans are to blog every Sunday, post my YouTube Pagan Challenge video on my Pagan Naturalists YouTube channel every Monday, work on figuring out a direction for my main DisruptiveGirl channel, and vlog at least once a week on Wednesdays on my Vlog channel. We'll see how it all works out, and I will update that info as it all falls into place.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Mostly weekly blog: Striving for consistency, we'll see how this goes!

I've been meaning to share these assignments with my viewers on YouTube, but getting two minutes to rub together to create a slideshow has proven to be a bit difficult so, here are the first three, and the rest of my assignments will be in separate posts.



My first assignment (above) was a variation in light assignment. Basically there was no "right or wrong", just a series of shots using different lighting, so Mamma Bird and I hit the strip and did just that =)



My second assignment (above) was a white balance comparison, once again, a pretty easy assignment to help us learn the difference in light temperatures. The subject is one of my favorite gargoyles =)






So, this is my third assignment, it went okay I suppose, but not too spectacular. I wish I could find the ones I did years ago, they were way more awesome! The ones I shot before were also on black and white film and printed with an enlarger in the wet darkroom, so I guess hipster me likes those ones better =P



Anyway, there you have it, and don't forget to check out my YouTube channel HERE to take a look at my vid 1 assignments as well =) I like having them where they are easily accessible so I can go back and take a look at my progress.
-Ragen

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Where life has been taking me lately, a brief recap of the past few weeks.


So, I've been somewhat busy the past few weeks, so here's a little look back at some of the things we've been up to =)
Shooting in Mamma Bird vision =)
First in the list, we took a trip out to Midnight Mayhem at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Awesome cars, a few good laughs, and some amazing talent, coupled with the smoke and smell of burnouts made for an awesome evening. I hadn't been to Midnight Mayhem in about ten years, but the Speedway is so full of good memories =)

The following week we took a trip to the Adventuredome at Circus Circus. The day wound down with some crazy things happening, unattended children and lax security, but over all we had an amazing time up to that point. There were three adults, so they took turns watching the kids and riding El Loco and Canyon Blaster with me. I am a die hard roller coaster enthusiast and once is never enough for any ride! The kids always love going here and it's a great source to feed the nostalgia beast in me since I started going here when they first opened on August 23, 1993, so for over 20 years this place has been a part of my life =)
Riding the kiddie coaster =P

We helped some good friends move, so they gave us a ton of cool stuff, are you starting to catch on to the theme of this post? Yeah, another blast from my past. My uncle used to have a huge record collection, and it was the highlight of my childhood. I almost died when I was told I could help myself to a couple of crates full of vinyl, now some of my favorites are hanging on the office wall =)
My favorite bit of home decor!

I also got the good news that another big part of my past. One of my favorite concert venues from my teens just received additional funding. The huntridge Theater was built in 1943 and is one of the coolest historical landmarks in Las Vegas as far as I'm concerned. Funding has been raised to help repair and maintain this amazing building. I would love to see it opened back up as a theater or a concert hall again!

Such a majestic building!



You can click this Link to get a look at the stop motion short film put together by my youngest son and myself. Once again, Godzilla is another source of nostalgia for me and also one I love sharing with my children.
Authentic 1985 Godzilla toy, accompanied by his bestie, a puzzle sheep =)
While we're on this nostalgia trip, why not throw in another one! Crystal Palace has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. We went there on a school outing this past Friday and I hadn't been for about 6 months. This was a horrible idea because I'm in the process of trying to find out what is wrong with my knees, but I strapped my silly butt into some skates and gave it a try anyway. I had both knees wrapped and had taken a pain pill, but still only made it around the rink about a dozen times before my pain threshold was met. I didn't fall though, and it was fun, so no real complaints =) 
Nothing has changed, it's exactly the same as it was my whole childhood!

Yep, those would be my chubby gams strapped into four wheeled torture devices. I swear these are the exact same pair my mom used to use when I was a kid, lol!


Well, in conclusion, it's nice once in awhile, when things are rough, to just take some time and relive some fun experiences from your childhood. I look at going to these places and having these items as an affordable, realistic alternative to time travel. Just to be in that moment for a brief second, hearing the familiar sounds, seeing the familiar sights, and smelling the familiar smells sometimes just reminds me how far I've come. Sharing these things with my kids has been such a joy as well!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Filler cats =)

Haven't been posting here at all, and I deeply apologise for that, just been busy.
Please check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/disruptivegirl77 
I'm uploading almost daily at this point. Also check me out elsewhere on the web and feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, or if you just want to b.s. =)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

A little bit of a gender "oops"!


We recently discovered that our dear little Persephone is actually more of a Batman. When we got "her" my mom introduced "her" as a female so we named 'her" accordingly... oops! As the weeks progressed our little kitty continued to grow and it became a bit more obvious that we made a bit of an error in our gender judgement. That's okay though, we still love him just as much and he is very well accepted by the other kitties in our household.