Sunday, February 14, 2016

A month of Sundays....Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day

Okay, I don't even remember the last time I posted an actual blog here, so I guess today is as good a day as any.
I've been up to a whole lot of nothing the past year, but I feel like maybe this past year has also been one of my most successful at the same time. Does it make sense to me? No, but that's the beauty of it I suppose.
My children have all been doing wonderful, watching my two oldest secure their footing in adulthood has been just amazing, they both have things together better than I did at their age.
My three younger boys have been flourishing as well, doing so much better now that they are fully homeschooled. My oldest one at home of course is at "that age" all teenagers hit where they know waaay more than anyone and everyone, so every other opinion than their own is just "lame", but he stays out of trouble and we get along well, I might even venture to say we get along despite the teen angst so it's all good.
The cats have been up to their usual "cat things", Ra is a part-time human, Mal is officially the house trash-panda.
 Tycho spends most of his time practicing his Wilford Brimley impersonations and in the nature of a true feral cat, Batman stops by to grab bites of kibble on a regular basis, get a quick once over to make sure he's not sustained any kind of injuries, then he's off to roam the wild blue yonder.

As for me, well, I have been dedicating as much time as I can to learning. After being denied financial aid due to a pace issue stemming from failing grades I received nine years ago due to my life taking a sharp turn for the worse in the form of a divorce I have been forced to find other means for furthering my education.
There are other schools I could attend, but at this point it is just as easy for me to seek free or affordable learning online in the comfort of my own home. Many of the major vendors for the software I use the most offer free online learning to help better utilize their software, as well as great communities to help keep me in some kind of social loop since I am such a hermit, so it's not too bad. I get the info without the interference of the ego of an instructor, and without having to leave my comfy chair.
Okay, that last statement leads me to another  subject... my weight... ugh, I despise even broaching this topic online, but I am comfortable with myself, fat or skinny, so it doesn't really matter I suppose.
I have gained a few pounds, actually I have reached 300lbs. since I have been back on my medication, I would rather be fat and happy than thin and depressed/ suicidal, so I guess it is a worthy trade off, the cheeseburgers will kill me slower than the depression, and food is delicious.
I am working on getting a gym membership, I have a fitness tracker, keep a food diary, and all that fun stuff. It's finally time, now that the weather is a bit more suited to spending time at the park with the kids and just generally being outside to get back into the habit of being more physically active.
The benefit to you, dear reader, is that I will be posting many more blogs, vlogs, and sharing many more photos online as I push myself to venture out more.
My kids have it easy, they have plenty of family and friends that help keep them active, but it is so easy for me to find an excuse to plant my buns somewhere and not interact, so this is my ultimate goal, to jump out of my comfort sone and start living life again.
I had to start by getting my depression under control, kinda ironic, the once thing that keeps me depressed is not leaving my house, and the biggest side effect of depression for me is a lack of drive to leave the house. I got this though, I have taken these steps before, but always found some reason to give it up, but now it truly is a matter of life and death. I joke around about cheeseburgers, but my biggest goal is to focus on quality, not quantity of life. Everything is all about balance, learning to even it all out so I can eat good tasting food, but still be around to interact with my grandchildren.
Life is work, none if it comes too easy, but that's what makes it worth it, the struggle is half the fun and the endgame is death, so at this point it is just a matter of making a conscious effort to enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the destination.
Well, I think I have rambled along enough for today, but my plans are to blog every Sunday, post my YouTube Pagan Challenge video on my Pagan Naturalists YouTube channel every Monday, work on figuring out a direction for my main DisruptiveGirl channel, and vlog at least once a week on Wednesdays on my Vlog channel. We'll see how it all works out, and I will update that info as it all falls into place.

The Great "Out of Doors"

No "actual blog post" today, but here's some photos of an outing to Maryjane Falls on Mt. Charleston last month, oh and a ...